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August 10, 2005
Personal Moments
I am often filled with mixed emotions on this journey. The other morning, we were sailing from Cape Fear to Beaufort Inlet, watching the sun rise. We had slept on and off all night, maybe 2 or 3 hours each. It is amazing what the body will tolerate. I have a great fear of being struck by lightning, and being unable to navigate to safe harbour. We watched lightning all around us. It was like a guardian angel created a weather shield where we were. We put our handheld GPS, handheld VHF radio, laptop computer and battery charger in the oven. Safest place in an electrical storm.
We made coffee. Oh sweet nectar of the morning.
We sat in the cockpit watching the sunrise, and it occurred to me that there was nothing more precious than that moment. Just me, my best friend and love of my life, the wind, the water and our beautiful safe boat. No engine, just the sound of water percolating around the hull, the effervescence of the sea along the water line. The fine line between ourselves and the sea. The humbling power of nature.
A big massive sea, too deep for knowing, and a big massive sky. And then, just us, a mere pimple on the great map of the world.
"The feeling, a paradoxical mix of pulsing energy and profound peace, was intense and blissful. Whereas the road, the sea, the trees, the air, the sun all spoke differently to me, now they spoke one language of unity." Life of Pi, Yan Martel.
The dolphins came for their morning visit, and the seabirds came to see if we had scraps for them.
Contradicting this moment of elation were thoughts of family and friends at home and abroad, who I miss terribly. I believe that my pining for family and friends, and their prayers and wishes for our safe journey, protects us from harm. This has renewed my faith in people, and restored my sense of spirituality. These moments of inward contemplation have become regular, daily. Much more now than ever before. These are not moments of prayer, or religious rhythms. These are moments of profound peace.
Too often in the Type A, rat race world that we live in, we forget to seek peace with ourselves. This is something that I am learning. It comes with some trepidation, as I am learning things about myself that I may not like. But I am learning new things about myself that I really like. Courage. Conviction. Survival. Instinct. Fear. These are precious gifts.
Do I miss the robust city life of Toronto? Absolutely. Would I miss this life if I returned to the robust city life of Toronto? Most definitely. Choices are as awkward as fear. Just when you think you have overcome one fear, a new choice emerges. From the deepest oceans of our thoughts.
It is in this realm of confused seas that I seek peace. My hope is that it will come, but if not, I will grow in the journey.
Posted by dave at August 10, 2005 07:44 PM
Comments
Hello dear friends...I thought you might enjoy the following definition of adventure by Pico Iyer.
"Adventure: 'an enterprise or performance involving the uncertain or unknown.'
Adventure is any experience that turns you around, stands you on your head and returns you to yourself in a form you scarcely recognize. It's a journey that leaves you not quite sure of who or where you are.
The greatest adventure of all is any episode that involves a risking of self, and with it, a vulnerability that promises to transform you into someone new and different. Trekking high into the mountains, where the air is so high and pure that you step out of the world you know and into a self that seems as cloudless as the heavens. Or leaving your life and assumptions behind in a place like Bangkok or Havana, where everything you thought you knew is turned inside out and given a different colouring.
In these, the enigmatic places of the world, life is much the same as at home, but with a shadow you can't fathom. Adventure is any experience that asks questions of you so searching that you never find the answers."
Sail on!!
Posted by: Suzanne in Sydney at August 31, 2005 06:56 PM
Chisholm is a lucky man. And, because I know he feels the same way about you, you are also a lucky man. And I am lucky enough to know both of you. You have just made me cry. But I like to cry as much as I like to laugh, so thanks.
fransi
Posted by: Fransi Weinstein at August 22, 2005 06:23 PM