« Soapbox | Main | Anish Kapoor Sky Mirror »
September 11, 2006
Resolve of the Human Spirit
I didn’t know anybody that was lost in the World Trade Center horror. I feel distant from the tragedy. It is impossible for me to know what a loss of this magnitude would feel like. I can only imagine the anguish.
Fiduciary Trust, the company Chis works for, lost more than 90 people. Yesterday, Chis organized a memorial service to which they invited 900 people. I went, not because I knew any of the people, or knew people that knew people, but to show my support for the loss of others. This was my way of sharing my energy, my strength, unburdened by grief.
The service was at St Bartholomew’s Church at Park Avenue & 51st Street. Reverend Bill Tully hosted the service, and said perhaps one of the most profound things I have heard in a long time. He said “Pray the way you can, not the way you can’t”. I realized that, much like the yoga to which I subscribe, you do what you can in the way that you want, and as long as the focus is on doing good in the world, who cares how you do it. I have been skeptical of organized religion. But this message from Reverend Tully was refreshing. I don’t need to bow my head, close my eyes, kneel on the floor, fear that if I don’t do as expected that I will be damned. No, the very act of listening carefully to his words, and reflecting on what they mean to me, is prayer in itself. I took this gift with me as I left the church and felt spiritually inspired by organized religion for the first time in a very long time.
The most remarkable thing about the service was the reacquainting of so many people that haven’t seen each other in a long time. After the horror of that day, many employees of Fiduciary never went back to work. Many had not yet surfaced, and rather than moments of sorrow, the church was filled with smiles and hugs, not tears. This to me was a real example of the resolve of the human spirit.
In distance running, it’s all about how your mind overcomes the minor setbacks. In my marathon (which I have not done since 1998), the body goes beyond burning calories for energy, and I begin to burn muscle tissue. Things start to break down and the body begins to send messages to the brain: “This hurts, you should stop now”. They call this “the wall”. It has happened to me around mile 19. At this point, the brain starts to say “7 more miles at this pace is going to take me over an hour. An HOUR!” The combination of body and brain setting up barriers requires serious discipline. Resolve of the human spirit.
Yoga is like this. In the yoga we practice, Bikram, the temperature in the room is cranked up to 104F. Often I reach points where the heat becomes overwhelming, which usually relates to one of a few things: (i) I haven’t eaten enough, (ii) my electrolytes are low, (iii) I haven’t slept enough, or (iv) my nervous system is busy with something, usually less-than-productive thoughts. I can control all but the last. The heat (and my lack of flexibility) are my barriers in yoga. Oh, and often the humidity, which is extreme in New York in the summer. Lack of flexibility I can deal with (and I am happy to report is improving every day). When the heat becomes a barrier, I do two things: focus on my eyes in the mirror, and focus on my breath. The latter is often difficult because my mind is saying “get me outta here right now before I faint or barf”. Breathing deeply and slowly is difficult when you begin to panic. It’s a vicious circle. Panic causes erratic breathing, erratic breathing causes panic. I have developed a little trick where I inhale for 4 counts of my heart beat, and the exhale the same. By focusing on this rhythm, I can get through the barrier.
No matter what challenges we take on in life – grieving, a new job, a marathon, a game of tennis, yoga – it is the discipline of the human spirit that keeps us going. There is no sense in comparing brands of suffering. Each of us struggles in our own way, and nobody suffers more than anyone else – just differently. There are days when the barriers hold us back. But we just keep going, confronting the barriers, and doing our best to overcome them. These extra efforts make us stronger, and make us better people, doing good in the world by taking care of our soul.
Resolve of the human spirit.
Posted by dave at September 11, 2006 12:09 PM