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April 25, 2007
Savasana
Once a week, I challenge myself with my yoga practice in two fundamental ways. I take a class in Japanese, and I take two classes in one day. I practice in Japanese because it requires extra focus; I don’t have the dialogue to tell me what to do next. I take two classes in one day to challenge my endurance and dedication, and to move deeper into the poses.
Today was a double day.
I was lying in savasana (corpse pose) after this morning’s class, with a towel over my eyes. I had fallen asleep. I was alone in the studio. I looked out the window on a brilliant blue sky. My eyes blurred to middle space, and I lay there, completely relaxed. It could have been an eternity by the time I realized that I had actually focused on the image behind the blurred middle space. The layers proceeded like this: The plastic covering the window (to keep the draft out, and the heat in), the window, the iron fire escape crisscrossing the framed image beyond, the million suspended particles between the fire escape and the Flatiron building, full of sirens, honking, beeping, yelling, talking, and white noise. The Flatiron building was crawling up the side of the Met Life Building, past its stunning 5 story clock, and onward to its beautiful gold dome and orb of lights at its top. The time on the clock was irrelevant, but the fact that something could tell me the time seemed safe. I was safe.
It occurred to me that this was an image that would remain with me for a very long time. Not because it included famous New York landmarks, but because of the sheer simplicity of the moment. Imagine being so relaxed, so like a corpse (except for breathing), while at the same time being conscious of the images beyond your focus on middle space.
I digress. So, what does one do between two hot yoga classes? Eat a big piggy lunch, for sure. Avoid distracting tasks. Like cleaning the bathroom. Or calling your mother. Do you go for a long walk? Sit in the park? Go shopping? Write a poem?
Here’s what I did after my big lunch. I grabbed a canvas bag, went to the bank to withdraw cash for our upcoming trip to the Virgin Islands, which I couldn’t do because I think I left my bank card in my shorts, or in a store, or damn, maybe on the floor at home. Forget the cash, shop at the pharmacy for cotton swabs (do you have any idea what kinda goo comes out of your ears after hot yoga?) and toothpaste. I waited patiently in line behind the eight people waiting for the ONE cashier, while THREE employees stocked the shelves (can’t buy what’s not on the shelves, can’t buy what’s IN MY HAND!). I paid my $3 with my credit card. I went to the grocery store for yogurt, milk and parmesan cheese. I dropped the cheese on the floor and it burst, ricocheting off the dairy cooler and bursting into a thousand little shreds of finely grated cheese. I sought out a broom, and offered to clean it up myself, but the guy said “no problemo, es mi trabajo” and proceeded to swiftly take care of my embarrassment.
I returned home, read some emails, talked to our Canadian tax accountant (grrrrr), and contemplated bailing on the second class in the afternoon. What? What was making me waver? I was so committed? The clouds had rolled in, I closed the windows as the temperature dropped, and the rain started. Bugger! My spirit was sinking.
I went through my usual pre-Bikram stuff. Put on the shorts, make sure I have electrolytes, have a handful of cashews and a piece of fruit, strap my mat to my back-pack, put on my shoes. I looked in the mirror, and simply said “deal, or no deal”. No deal is way too easy. No deal is not a challenge.
I went. I was a rock star (Britney?). My discipline paid off. And I realized that everything I strive to achieve in my life has taken commitment, dedication, focus, and discipline. I realized that today was a new start. A great new start.
Posted by dave at April 25, 2007 08:05 PM