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May 22, 2007
Pillar of American Efficiency
Chis’ parents live in Mexico, and they take advantage of a service where their outgoing mail is couriered to Texas, where it is mailed by the US Postal Service, rather than getting stuck in the highly unreliable Mexico postal system. Periodically, Chis’ dad sends a shopping list for stamps. Anyone living in the US will know that the price of stamps just went up. Here’s a self-explanatory email I sent Chisholm (Chis’ dad).
“Dear Chisholm,
I have just returned from the post office, the pillar of efficiency. Chis and I came up with a plan this morning for your stamps: 75 41-cent US domestic, 150 69-cent Canada, 75 90-cent International, and 50 2-cent stamps to round-up any old 39-cent US domestic stamps you may have lying around. Am I losing you in the numbers yet? Wait, it gets better…
First, I asked for the International stamps, which just increased to 90-cents. Richard (according to his nametag and the tattoo of a cherub on his arm) looked at me sideways. “They haven’t been printed yet”. He disappeared for 10 minutes, and came back with 87-cent stamps, and a pile of 3-cents stamps, which together will get the mail to the UK.
Second, I asked for the US domestic stamps. That was easy. He handed me a pile of stamps.
Third, I asked for the Canada stamps. Richard shot me a look, as if I had asked him a second time to sell me the Brooklyn Bridge. “They haven’t been printed yet”. The new rate is 69-cents, up from 63-cents. I asked for the old 63-cent stamps, and a pile of 6-cent stamps to round them up. “We don’t have 6-cent stamps”. Now 20 minutes at the counter, I asked for more 3-cent stamps, two of which, plus the old 63-cent stamps, would get the mail to Canada. He disappeared for 10 minutes. He returned. “We don’t have any 63-cent stamps, and not enough 3-cent stamps, but I can sell you 75-cent stamps”.
I glazed over. I was numb.
Needless to say, the burgeoning envelope full of various stamps in multiple denominations will be carefully delivered on the weekend, with instructions.
Hasta viernes,
Dave
Posted by dave at May 22, 2007 04:01 PM